Things That Put a Wedge in Relationships
21. Rudeness
22. Always busy
23. Tight lipped
24. A bad communicator
25. Money manners
26. Sexting
27. Open toilet
28. Searching the soup pot
29. Inattentiveness
30. Being messy
Rudeness
The British Psychology Society has observed that rudeness is a growing problem in societies. Its effect is disastrous. “Rudeness can destroy collegiality and teamwork, extinguish negotiations across countries or parties, obliterate sportsmanship and safety, and encourage aggression, crime and deviance.” I’ll recommend you read the British Psychology Society’ report on different research findings on rudeness here
Rudeness manifests in different ways. Similarly, rudeness may be a blessing. So this is a double edged sword. Cursing, abusiveness, swearing constantly may be a pet-peeve but you can actually turn it to your advantage. Your point of views may differ but how does he take it? Does he bully you into silence? Does throw temper tantrums just to get you off his back? Does scream “Shut Up!” “F..k you!” and other profanities? Frequently dropping the phone on you, shouting on the phone during calls, are diverse ways that this can manifest.
Although most researches in rudeness in relationships have dwelled on office and workplace incidents, there’s no doubt that the same problem is prevalent in the homes because studies show that incidents of rudeness in society are on the increase.
Always Busy
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Is your spouse always forming busy? A Pew Research findings in America in 2018 found that 60% of people complained of being too busy. Dr. Cheyenne Bryant is a life coach. He thinks being busy is good coping mechanism especially for people undergoing behaviour change therapy.
Unfortunately, people sometimes form busyness as an avoidance strategy. When they want to stay away from some situations, they begin to pretend or act busy. This is unhealthy. According Bryant, “Avoided behavior suppresses your unwanted feelings resulting in a buildup of emotions that can manifest into anger, frustration, resentment, isolation, and many other unhealthy mental states.” These feelings would naturally find a vent at the partner closest to you.
So are you willing and able to do this? Do you have the coping mechanism to help them and yourself? If not, you may become a mental wreck before long. It gets worse, if you’re the object of their avoidance.
Tight lipped
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How do you live with someone who’s perpetually tight lipped? That’s the big question. Taciturnity and close-mouthedness are behaviours that may be upsetting to some but may actually be a blessing in others. It depends on you and what you like.
However, in a relationship, this could be a problem. Women like to talk more than women. Sometimes, women talk because they are seeking emotional support but the men think they’re being illogical. At such moments, their desire for communication clash. The result may not always be good for relationships. The question you should be asking is if this an everlasting thing. You may be on to a disaster if it is. Why? Although women like to talk most of the time, they are also waiting for some helpful encores. Without that, you will soon become BORING, A BORE, A WASTE OF TIME, DULL, UNEXCITING, A PAIN IN THE A..
Although women like to talk most of the time, they are also waiting for some helpful encores. Without that, you will soon become BORING, A BORE, A WASTE OF TIME, DULL, UNEXCITING, A PAIN IN THE A..
Poor communication
Poor communication can have a big impact on a marriage, including miscommunications, arguments, and feelings of estrangement. Effective communication between partners can break the pattern of unpleasant encounters that over time can harm a relationship.
Poor communication can have a variety of specific effects on a marriage, such as:
misconceptions: When partners find it difficult to communicate their thoughts and feelings clearly, this can result in misconceptions that can grow into disputes or cause wounded feelings.
Resentment: Over time, ineffective communication can cause partners to feel as though their needs are not being heard or understood, which can result in feelings of resentment and irritation.
Lack of intimacy: Ineffective communication between partners can result in a lack of emotional intimacy, which can then affect physical closeness.
Poor communication can lead to conflict because partners may react defensively to perceived slights or misunderstandings by becoming defensive themselves.
Distance: In the end, poor communication between partners can cause them to feel emotionally distant or cut off from one another.
Ineffective communication between partners can result in a lack of emotional intimacy, which can then affect physical closeness.
Attitude to Money
Your attitude to money may lead your partner into labelling you a gold digger. When all you do is spending and not interested how the money comes in, you are going to make a poor spouse.
So you’re better off paying attention to your would be partner’s approach to spending.
Gold digger Pranks
This attitude has birthed a genre of social media parody called Gold Diggers. (Watch some of them)
Sexting
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The business of sending amorous text messages from one’s phone to another person outside of the relationship is called sexting. It may involve the exchange of nude pictures, videos or intimate memes/words. When such is going on, it means your presence in their life is secondary. They may merely be tolerating you. You do not want to be barely tolerated, do you?
Toilet Manners
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Good bathroom habits and hygiene are essential for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship with partners. Common issues that can harm a relationship include leaving the toilet seat up or down, not flushing, not replacing the toilet paper, and leaving a mess in the bathroom. It is important to be considerate of one’s partner’s preferences and take care of the shared space to prevent conflicts and promote a more harmonious household.
Searching the soup pot
Some women may take offence when their husband or family member searches the soup pot, especially if they do it without their permission or leave the pot lid open. As a result, spills, burns, or other mishaps may occur, which can be frustrating for the person who cooked the meal. If the person searching the pot doesn’t ask before doing so, it may also be construed as impolite or disrespectful. For others who are territorial, the kitchen is a no entry area. Trespassing may spark a rage and conflict. To prevent any needless arguments or annoyances, it is crucial for partners and family members to communicate and respect each other’s boundaries in the kitchen.
Some women may take offence when their husband or family member searches the soup pot, especially if they do it without their permission or leave the pot lid open.
Inattentiveness
Inattentiveness can be a major issue in a relationship, as it can cause feelings of neglect, loneliness, disinterest, and disconnection between partners. It can also lead to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and conflict and frustration. It is important for both partners to be fully present and attentive in their interactions to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Sloppiness
Being disorganised or careless can be an issue in a relationship for a number of reasons. First, it may be interpreted as a disregard for the other person’s emotions or living space. When one partner doesn’t clean up after themselves or leaves their possessions all over the place, it can make the other partner feel disrespectful and irrelevant. Additionally, it may result in a stressful and disorderly living situation, which may be detrimental to the mental health and general wellbeing of both couples.
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Second, being disorganised can reveal a lack of accountability and responsibility. When one partner repeatedly neglects to clean up after themselves or help with home duties, it can lead to a power imbalance in the relationship, with one person feeling burdened with all the responsibilities. Resentment and feelings of injustice may result from this. President Barak Obama is one person whose careless attitude to his shoes and socks once received a public exposure from his wife, Michelle Obama. According to the Cleveland 19 journal, citing AP reports, “Michelle Obama has a few gripes about her husband, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, and she’s not shy about sharing them with thousands of people she doesn’t know.”
Furthermore, “He doesn’t put his worn socks in with the dirty clothes. He’s worse than a 5-year-old at making the bed. And after he eats, he doesn’t put away the butter.”
Finally, being disorganised can compromise your hygiene. It can lead to health issues and discomfort for both spouses if one partner doesn’t properly clean themselves up, which can lead to an unhealthy living situation and possibly, STDs.
In general, being untidy or sloppy can be a pet peeve in a relationship since it can be a symptom of disrespect, carelessness, and poor hygiene, which can have a detrimental effect on the relationship and the partners’ well-being. In terms of cleanliness and organisation, it’s critical for both spouses to convey their expectations and strike a balance that works for them both.
He doesn’t put his worn socks in with the dirty clothes. He’s worse than a 5-year-old at making the bed. And after he eats, he doesn’t put away the butter
michelle Obama on president Barak Obama’s peeve habits
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