Toxic things happen in relationships and many are afraid to talk
Being in an exploitative or toxic relationship is like being fed hemlock daily. It worsens with time because of different reasons. But society and individuals owe each other a duty to make marriages safer.
Many are the unhappily married in the universe. Some are unhappy because of unfulfilled expectations but others are in because of no fault of theirs. What ever the reasons, many lives get ruined because of toxic relationships. The case of Gospel singer Osinachi, who was disappointed by all, readily gets to mind. Toxic relationship, sometimes called domestic exploitation or exploitative or abusive relationship is the subject of our post today.
Exploitative relationships can harm a person’s mental health, confidence, and overall well-being. It can lead to death as in the case of Bimbo Ogbonna. Such toxic relationships can manifest themselves in a variety of ways, ranging from emotional manipulation to physical violence, and can occur in both personal and professional situations. It is not uncommon to find individuals who remain in such relationships over extended periods of time due to fear, guilt, or a lack of knowledge of what is going on.
Recognising the indications of exploitation, leaving the relationship, and obtaining professional help and support can be the first steps towards healing and moving on. In this post, we will look at how to deal with exploitative relationships, including recognising the indications and taking action to break free and move on.
Understanding Exploitative Relationships
Defining Exploitative Relationships
An exploitative relationship occurs when one person takes advantage of another person’s fragility, weakness, or dependency for their own profit or benefit. It can take numerous forms, including emotional, physical, or financial exploitation. Power imbalances and manipulation are common features of exploitative relationships. It must be emphasized that abusive relationships can start a chain reaction of events that affect Children, adults and society at large.
Types of Exploitative Relationships
Exploitative relationships can take many forms, including violent love relationships, dominating friendships, and employer-employee partnerships in which the employee is overworked and underpaid. Financial exploitation can occur in any of these partnerships when one person takes advantage of the other’s financial resources or lack of.
Why Do People Remain in Abusive Relationships?
Many people may stay in exploitative relationships for a battery of different reasons. These include: fear, financial reliance, low self-esteem, religious sentiments, and emotional attachment. It can be difficult to detect indicators of exploitation initially, and the victim may even believe that they are at fault or deserve the punishment they are receiving. Some remain for religious reasons. This portion of the Bible has often been cited to justify man’s inhumanity to man:
[5] And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Matthew 19
[6] Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
It is a misnomer to think about this Scripture as a justification for cruelty. What the verses teach is to work hard to resolve the the couple’s differences rather than casually casting away the relationship. But, does it imply that they should remain married until there is a homicide: and one kills the other? Hardly conceivable!
So learn to recognize when your loved ones are being exploited and understand that they may not be able help themselves in some cases. You also need to understand that the Bible defends the defenseless. Use its resources to resolve problems but never use the Bible to justify homicide.
You also need to understand that the Bible defends the defenseless. Use its resources to resolve problems but never use the Bible to justify homicide
Ngozi Asoya, (Larryhappiday)
Recognising Exploitation Signs
Psychological Signs of Exploitation
Feeling confined, guilty, or ashamed in the relationship are all psychological indications of exploitation. The victim may also feel as if they are walking on eggshells around the exploiter, or may suffer from anxiety and melancholy.
Physical Indicators of Exploitation
Injuries, bruising, or other bodily harm caused by the exploiter’s activities might be physical evidence of exploitation. The victim may also endure weight loss, sleeplessness, or other physical symptoms associated with stress.
Behavioural Indicators of Exploitation
Changes in the person’s behaviour, such as becoming more withdrawn or secluded from friends and family, might be behavioural symptoms of exploitation. The individual may also be more subservient or obedient to the demands of the exploiter, even if it contradicts their own values or beliefs.
Resolving Exploitation in Marriage
It is vital to ensure that every peaceful resources for resolving disputes have been utilised before the situation gets out of hand. As the human body can become sick, so can their relationship. So when you feel your relationship is becoming sick, what resources are available for you? You have both internal and external resources available to you. Use them before ever considering exiting the marriage.
As the human body can become sick, so can their relationship
Internal Resources for dealing with exploitative relationships
There are a lot of internal resources that can be used to resolve exploitation in marriage. Self-awareness is a key aspect in recognising when you’re being taken advantage of and understanding your own limits and boundaries. Assertiveness abilities can also be beneficial since they allow people to voice their wants and stand up for themselves in a positive way. Furthermore, improving emotional intelligence can help with dispute resolution and communication, both of which are important components in dealing with exploitation in a relationship. There are numerous tools available to help you improve these abilities, such as therapy or counselling, self-help books, and even online courses and workshops. Individuals can empower themselves to overcome the problems given by an exploitative marriage by tapping into these personal resources.
External resources for dealing with exploitative relationships
There are numerous choices for locating external resources for resolving exploitation in a relationship. Seeking the assistance of a therapist or counsellor who specialises in dealing with issues of exploitation and abuse is a frequent resource. These specialists can not only offer support and direction during the healing process, but they can also provide practical tools and methods for setting boundaries and increasing safety in the relationship. Furthermore, community organisations such as domestic abuse hotlines or women’s shelters can provide rapid crisis intervention and services to people who are being exploited in their relationships. Seeking help from trusted friends or family members can also be beneficial, as they can provide emotional support as well as an outside perspective on the situation.
Getting Out of Exploitative Relationships
Getting Ready to Leave
When all Peaceful avenues have been exploited to get a resolution and failed, you may arrange to leave that relationship temporarily. In exiting an exploitative relationship, preparation is essential. This includes developing a safety plan, accumulating money, and enlisting the help of trusted friends and family members.
Safely Ending the Relationship
To leave an exploitative relationship securely, you may need to contact police authorities or seek a restraining order. It is critical to have a strategy for leaving in peace, including a place to stay and transportation.
Keeping No Contact
It is critical to avoid contact with the exploiter in order to recover and move on from the relationship. Blocking them on social media and avoiding venues where they are likely to be are two examples.
Regaining Self-Esteem and Confidence
Understanding the Effects of Exploitation on Self-Esteem
Exploitation can have a catastrophic effect on a person’s self-esteem and confidence. It is critical to recognise and comprehend these impacts in order to begin the healing process.
Self-Care Techniques
Self-care can help mitigate the harmful impacts of exploitation. This includes getting enough sleep, eating healthily, and engaging in things that offer you joy and fulfilment.
Positive Affirmations for Self-EsteemPositive affirmations can be a great tool for increasing self-esteem and confidence. Positive phrases such as “I am worthy of love and respect” or “I am strong and capable” might assist reframe negative self-talk.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
The Value of Boundaries
When dealing with exploitative relationships, it is critical to establish limits. Boundaries are guidelines that determine what behaviour is and is not acceptable towards you. When you set and articulate these limits, you set a precedent for how you expect to be treated, which can deter others from taking advantage of you.
Boundaries of Various Types
There are various types of boundaries that can be established. Physical limits are concerned with personal space and touch, whereas emotional boundaries are concerned with your thoughts, feelings, and expectations. Communicating your wants and demands is also a crucial boundary to set.
Setting and Enforcing Boundaries
Setting and enforcing limits necessitates open and honest communication. You must be honest about your wants and expectations. When someone crosses your limits, you must speak up and let them know that their behaviour is unacceptable. Remember that boundaries are there to safeguard your well-being, not to punish you.
Seeking Professional Assistance and Care
There are various Professional support facilities that you can draw from.
Counselling and Therapy
If you’re having trouble establishing or enforcing boundaries, or if you’ve encountered trauma in previous relationships, counselling or therapy might be a lifeline. A licenced therapist can assist you in processing your emotions, identifying unhealthy patterns, and developing appropriate coping skills.
Social Support Groups
Connecting with others who have had similar experiences can create a sense of camaraderie and validation. Support groups, which can be located online or in person, provide a secure area to share your thoughts and emotions. Trusted family and religious bodies may also offer help in these times.
Legal Aid
Legal aid may be required if you feel threatened or uncomfortable. Whether you need a restraining order or assistance with a legal conflict, finding a lawyer or legal aid may be a brilliant option to protect you and everyone from complications and injuries. Remember that the exploiter will never willingly let go. Have the law on your side can be deterrence tool and give you space and time to reflect on your options.
In the next part of this article, we shall take a look at steps to healing and preventing future abuses. See you then!
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Asoya Relationship Musings - ARM 
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