When a co-parenting situation exists, there are extradyadic circumstances that may create trust issues. How do you handle this? This co-parenting video demonstrates this fear and more.
Those who have ever been divorced, and those with greater attitudinal acceptance of extra marital sex (EMS), had higher incidence of EMS compared to those who have not been divorced and those reporting greater disapproval of EMS.
Michael W Wiederman in
“Extramarital Sex: Prevalence and Correlates in a National Survey“
January 1997 The Journal of Sex Research
How Co-parenting is tearing up a Marriage
Extradyadic Environment of Co-parenting
Co-parenting and trust issues can be like walking on a tightrope, where you have to be super careful not to lose your balance. It’s a secret struggle that happens behind closed doors, making it even harder to deal with. You have to find a way to talk openly with each other, but also protect your feelings. It’s tough because you might have doubts and worries, but you still have to work together as parents. Every little thing you say or do is important, and you have to be really careful. There are so many things left unsaid and questions left unanswered, but you have to pretend like everything is okay. Co-parenting is like a big puzzle that needs trust to work, but sometimes it feels like trust is impossible to find. It gets even more complicated when one or both parents are married or engaged to other people.
Seven Major Extradyadic Concerns in Co-parenting Arrangement
While each individual and relationship is unique, here are some common fears that current partners may experience, leading to discomfort when their partners are alone with their exes in a co-parenting context:
Jealousy: Current partners may feel threatened or insecure about the emotional connection or history their partner shares with their ex-partner.
They may worry that spending time alone with the ex could rekindle romantic feelings or lead to a breach of trust.
Comparison: Current partners may fear that they will be compared unfavorably to the ex-partner during co-parenting interactions.
Lack of Boundaries: Current partners may be concerned that the co-parenting relationship will blur boundaries and encroach upon their own relationship with their partner.
Insecurities: Current partners may have personal insecurities related to their own self-worth, attractiveness, or desirability.
They may worry that their partner’s continued involvement with the ex-partner implies that they are not fully committed or satisfied in their current relationship.
Trust Issues: Previous relationship experiences or trust issues may contribute to discomfort. History of infidelity: If there have been past instances of infidelity or betrayal, current partners may find it difficult to trust their partner’s intentions or actions in maintaining a co-parenting relationship.
Uncertainty about Ex’s Intentions: Current partners may have concerns about the ex-partner’s motivations or intentions.
Fear of Reconciliation: Some current partners may worry that the continued interaction between their partner and the ex could potentially lead to a reconciliation between them, disrupting the current relationship. This is not an idle fear.
Did you know that some divorced couples actually try to get back together? It’s true! Researchers have looked into this and found that around 10%, while others say it’s as high as 40% do eventually get back together after divorce. So, it’s not uncommon for divorced couples to think about giving their relationship another chance. Co-parenting environments can provide this opportunity.
It’s important to note that these fears and discomforts may vary from person to person, and not all current partners will experience them to the same degree. It’s also important to point out that incidents of these types are more psychological than real. Until enough studies are done on possibilities of sexual attraction remaining after divorce or separation, other intervening factors may affect how former sex partners respond to advances from their estranged partners.
Navigating Extradyadic Co-parenting Concerns
To address concerns and tensions in co-parenting relationships, there are seven actions to consider:
1. Maintain open and honest communication with both your co-parent and current partner. Discuss schedules and concerns openly to ensure everyone feels heard.
2. Set clear boundaries with your co-parent to keep the focus on the children and to respect your current relationship. Define appropriate levels of communication and interactions.
3. Involve your current partner in the co-parenting process to build trust and minimize feelings of exclusion or jealousy.
4. Show empathy and understanding towards your current partner's concerns. Put yourself in their shoes to create a supportive environment for open dialogue.
5. Dedicate quality time and reassurance to your current partner. Reaffirm your commitment and love, assuring them that the co-parenting relationship is solely about parenting responsibilities.
6. Consider seeking professional support, such as couples therapy or family mediation, if tensions persist. Professionals can provide neutral perspectives and strategies to navigate complex emotions and improve communication.
7. Consistently demonstrate trustworthiness and loyalty to your current partner by communicating your commitment and the importance of building a solid foundation based on trust and mutual respect.
In summary, co-parenting may be challenging but having clear boundaries, openness and involving your current partners in most cases would smoothen concerns about trust and fear of loosing your current partner.
feedback
Do You Like This Website?
We would like to hear from you whether you enjoyed reading the articles published here. If you do, please leave us a Comment or simple LIKE but if NOT tell us why you didn’t like it. Don’t forget to SHARE them with others!
Thank you very much.
COMMENT
Let’s make something together
Asoya Relationship Musings - ARM 
Leave a comment