Why Teenage Relationships Fail

I once watched an episode of Steve Garvey’s show in which he interviewed a boy of three years. The child claimed that he was in love with another child like him and had been given a broken heart by his ‘girlfriend’. Consequently, the toddler claimed he was unsure he would love any girl again. Funny as this may sound, the same scenario is applicable to teenage love affairs, making romantic relationships a very inadvisable game for teenagers. Have there been successful teenage relationships in history? YES! Yet such cases are a rarity. In this article, I will show a dozen or so reasons why this kind of early dalliance with romantic relationships should be discouraged.

Broken hearts may never heal properly

Romantic relationships are high intensity affairs that require highly developed coping skills that young ones have not acquired yet.

Why Do Teenage Relationships End in Heartbreak?

A few cases of satisfying or successful transformation of teenage affairs into permanent adult relationships do not in my view justify the rampant involvement of the young in emotional romantic entanglements. Some common factors that contribute to the failure of teenage relationships include:

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1. Lack of maturity: Teenagers largely have not developed the emotional maturity required to handle this kind of relationship. It could therefore be hurtful to start any such affair until the emotional skills needed to navigate the complexities of a romantic relationship have been formed. To do otherwise may lead to extremities in handling misunderstandings, conflicts, and tragically poor communication.
2. Peer pressure: This is one of the reasons why young people dabble into the high intensity behaviour of romance at an early age. Teenagers may feel pressurized by their friends or social circles to conform to certain relationship societal norms and/or expectations, which can lead to decisions that are not in their best interest.
3. Changing priorities and interests: Adolescence is a time of rapid personal growth and change. Teens tend to discover new interests, hobbies, or goals. This can lead to drifting from relationships that do not serve these new interests well. The case of several young ones that took blood oaths at their young ages only to discover that they were not compatible later in life abound in Nigeria’s social media space.
4. Communication problems: Effective communication involves active listening and sympathetic use of words. These skills are critical components of any successful relationship. Teenagers may struggle to express their thoughts and feelings or may have difficulty listening to and understanding their partner’s perspective. They may be too impatient or ignorant of these essentials, which even many adults of their parent’s age struggle to exhibit.
5. Parental influence: Parental involvement is inevitable in teenage years and their approval can have heavy significance in teenage relationships. If parents disapprove of the relationship or set strict rules, it can put a strain on the couple.
6. Jealousy and insecurity: There is no way that teenagers would not struggle with jealousy and insecurity, emotions that lead to trust issues and conflicts within all relationships. Given their ill-developed emotional skills, they tend to be poor at handle these extreme emotions thereby leading to violence and injuries.
7. Lack of life experience: As they say, garbage in garbage out. Because teenagers have limited life experiences, it be challenging for them to handle issues and conflicts that arise naturally in relationships.
8. Unrealistic expectations: Teenagers might have romanticized or unrealistic expectations about love and relationships, which can lead to disappointment when reality collides with their fantasies.
9. External stressors: Academic pressure, extracurricular activities, and other external stressors can take a toll on teenagers and their relationships, making it difficult to find time for each other.
10. Long-distance relationships: Many teenage relationships are challenged by the constraints of long-distance dating, which can be difficult to maintain, even in adult situations.
11. Peer and social media influences: Social dynamics and influences from peers can have a significant impact on teenage relationships. Friendships and group dynamics can affect the stability of a romantic relationship.

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It is crucial to emphasise that not all adolescent relationships fail and that some can grow into good, long-term relationships. Without the right emotional skills, it is inadvisable for teenagers to start dabbling in a terrain that is full of landmines that their ages have not prepared them to handle. Seeking assistance and direction from trusted adults or experts is recommended if teenagers begin to have an unrestrained urge to have romantic relationships in order to avoid the harsh reality of heartbreak and its unforeseeable mental health implications.

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